Last words on my last meal

You know that whole "live everyday as if it were your last" attitude? I guess it's supossed to make us live life to the fullest but let me tell you what it does to me.

It drives me up the flippin' wall! That's what. You see, I've heard stories about people diying without giving the proper notice to their loved ones so there's all this guilt for saying stupid as the last thing they ever said and all that. (ok, but by the grace of god err go I... I haven't had to live through such a tragedy but stick with me, I am going somewhere with this.)

I've been living like this, like every day is my last and you know what? It's not healthy for a perfectionest to do that. Because every morning when my husband leaves for work I don't say what's in my heart I say what I would want my last words to him to be just incase he doesn't come back. What a drag!

No more! I will now be shaking off this guilt from a repressive sociaty that is merely holding back my potentalty.

If Jeff dies before his time, God forbid, it will just have to be enough that out of all the guys out there I chose to marry him and have his babies. Doesn't that mean more than anything else anyway?

I do feel bad for all the loss people suffer, but I can't live life to the fullest thinking everything is the last. It just makes me want to get everything movie perfect, something I can never do.

So from now on I'm going to say what's in my heart and stop living by the script of a tragedy.

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