Where Does The Time Go?

I'll tell you where it doesn't go, it doesn't go into some time bank. 

A few years back I read "Momo" by Michael Ende. (He also wrote "The Neverending Story".) It's a brilliant book and I picked up something from it and from my person finance class in collage that I'm featuring as today's Twinnovation. 

Ever look at the receipt from the grocery store and notice at the bottom is says something like "You saved $5.83 today!" Well, where is it? 

The truth is, if you don't go take $5.83 and put it into your piggy bank you haven't really saved it at all.

In "Momo" there was a group of bad guys that would convince people that they were wasting their time, that if they could just save their time, work quicker, and don't waste your time on frivolous things like visiting friends, over the years you would save up all this time. But the truth is, no hour can ever be re-lived. You can't save it, but you can live it.

Well, you can save it if  you have a purpose in mind. Like putting the dishes strait into the dishwasher as you use them so you don't spend time doing dishes and you spend time with your kids. There's no point saving it if you're not going to do anything with it. 

Just like that $5.83, you need a reason to save it. Even "for a rainy day" is a reason. Just throwing money into a savings account doesn't really do you any good. Saving it so you have 3 months worth of rent and food money, now that will do you good. 

What I'm trying to say is, live. If there's a bunch of things you want to do, go do them. Have some fun, enjoy where you are, as the song says "Live, love, laugh and be happy." You can never get this moment back. 

Today's Twinnovation: Mrs Perfect

You all know her, she's that lady you know who married Mr. Perfect, the man that has a really great job. Every time you see Mrs P- she looks fabulous, and you wonder how she manages to find time to go to the gym when you can't find the time to get a shower. In other words, she looks perfect, her marriage looks perfect, her well behaved children always look perfect, she's just perfect!

And you can't stand it!

However I just found out her secrets! There are two I'll list here.

See, my neighborhood Mrs. P- is really likable and I've always looked up to her. (And I love her shoes! I wish I could still wear cute high heels!) 

But she told me somthing that made it so I would never look at her the same ever again. She told me about this one day where one of her boys pooped his pants and she was running late for something because she had to rinse out his pants in the toilet.

Imagining her doing that, a task I've had to do myself *shudder*, made me look at her totally differently. She isn't Mrs. P-, she's normal!

But wait, you say. That can't be one of her secrets to perfection! Well duh. The thing is, she isn't perfect at all, any more than you or I are. You just think she is. Your perception has created someone you can't live up to. So imagine her up to her elbows in toilet water. It'll help.

Her other little trick, if I might call it that, is one I also recommend for some (even though I'm not a doctor and only your doctor should recommend blah blah blah) Prozac.

That's right, good ol' anti-depressants. Do you know what that means? That means Mrs. P- needs help being the woman you see. There's no shame in that. If you can't cope, talk to your doctor. Know that Mrs. P- couldn't cope either.

So go ahead and look up to her, but just realise that she's really not any more perfect than anyone else. And if you wished you looked as pretty, do what I do, wear a *crown. You'll still end up having to clean poopy messes, but at least you'll look good while you're doing it.

*By crown I mean a sparkly head band that I wore when I got married. Why shouldn't I look like the princess I am? Or as my husband says "a genius and a godess." Thanks honey!

Pop Quiz Time!

Ok, class, let's go over our Twin Etiquette!


1.) You see a woman in the store pushing a double stroller in front of her and pulling a cart behind her. You:

a) stop her to ask if the babies in the stroller are twins.

b) notice they are twins so don't ask anything so lame, instead stop her to ask her if she seen "Jon and Kate Plus Eight."

c) ask her opinion on the "octimom"

d) notice that she's pushing a stroller and pulling a cart while trying to remember what she came into the store for so you help her by clearing the path.



If you answered a) keep in mind she's had to answer this same question at least 47 times before you asked it.

If you answered b) keep in mind she has twins and doesn't have time to keep up with TLC gossip.

If you answered c) keep in mind she has even less time to watch the news.

If you answered d) give yourself a gold star, and a pat on the head. You already realise it probably took a lot to get those little twins to the store by herself, and you don't need to tell her she's got her hands full. You can see it and she already knows it.

That's all for now class!

Today's Twinnovation: Ourselves

Mother Nature (not the great out doors, but the nature of Mothers) is to feel guilt at the slightest thing. Second guessing ourselves seems to be the name of the game. I'm a big believer that books that teach you how to raise kids are from the very bowels of hell itself. And even if they're not written by men* they're prime objective seems to be making life as miserable as possible for the mother.

So here's my advice on books to help you raise your kids: if your child reads it, you can too.

What we as mothers really need is F.L.Y. Lady. (flylady.net)

Let's get one thing strait here, I'm probably the worst flybaby out there. But I figure if I were to wear myself out trying to be the perfect flybaby, Flylady would thwack me upside the head with her feather duster. Perfection is not the name of the game people!

The reason I recommend her site and her methods for young mothers like myself isn't because she tells you how to get you babies to sleep through the night. In fact, from the little I've seen of her site, I've seen little to nothing on the subject of raising kids. What she tells you how to do is for you. You can't control what your child does. CIO, STTN, Breastfeeding vs. Formula feeding, cloth diapering, Cribs vs. Co-sleeping, Sleeping on tummy, Pasicfires vs. No Pasicfires, SAHM vs. Working outside the home, Home school vs. Public school, Vaccinations, College funds, When to start solids, What solids to feed them..... none of it matters! Ok, well, yes it does matter, but most of that is out of your hands.

Case in point. Juice. I bought some juice for my boys. Miles loves it. Bob doesn't. Me wanting him to drink it isn't going to make it so. He's smarter than I am. He says "I don't want that. I'm not going to drink it." I can either A) Feel like a failure because I tried to give him juice and failed. Or B) Realise it is just juice and go on with life. From the moment I hand him the sippy cup it is out of my hands. Literally and figuratively. It's up to Bob to drink it. He has every right not to.

So often I see young mothers putting their success/failure feelings into things they have no control over... their kids. (I don't care who you are, you have no control over you kids. Accept it. Move on.)

But what Flylady helps you do is control the things you can control. You. Yourself. What you do. How you do it.

You want to take a walk everyday? Do it.

I can hear the excuses now.... to everyone of them I say "So!" I banish your excuses! Go for a walk!

You want to take the kids to the zoo? Do it!

You want the loneliness to end? Go find another young mother. She's just as lonely as you are. All young mothers are. Become friends.

What you can do, in the morning, what Flylady taught me, was to get ready for the day. Get dressed! (I figured while I was at it, I'd get my kids dressed too.)

Are you pictureing something like this:

A bright ray of morning sun shines through the window, and a gentle breeze plays with the white lace curtins of the open window. The air smells of morning dew and the promises of a day full of love and baby giggles. Mommy wakes up, having slept peacefully all night. She wieghs 10 pounds less than the day before. She gets out of bed and does a half hour of yoga, takes a nice long shower, gets dressed in the jeans that are the same size she wore in highschool, does her make-up even though her complection is flawless, and her hair is dry and perfect with just one swipe of the hair brush and a few seconds of the blow dryer. She goes into the nursry and sees two happy babies playing in their cribs, chattering at each other through the bars. They see her and smile and speak their very first words "Mommy, we changed ourselves so you wouldn't have to!"

Sorry, that's not what I meant, and it's never going to happen. The babies wake me up at the butt crack of dawn by crawling over my face so the pungent smell of baby shit despells any sleepness I might have left over from being up the night before.
Some mornings there's two poopie diapers first thing. Some mornings Miles is having a level 8 meltdown. Some mornings Bob doesn't want to wear clothes. Some mornings they laystill for a diaper change, other's they want to take a head dive off the changing table and I have to wrestle them to get a clean diaper on them.

But no metter what, I still get dressed! I might not get a shower-- scratch that, I never get a shower in the morning, are you kidding me?-- I might not do my make up, and what I wanted to wear might not fit me, but I still get dressed! I can control that. Some times I have to hand the babies my cell phone and a dead laptop to keep them from freaking out while I get dressed, but I still get dressed! Sometimes they still freak out. I still get dressed.

That's what Flylady did for me. That's why I recomend her site. If you want to improve how things are going with you and your baby/babies fix yourself. Look at your baby/babies, do you really think they need improving?

*Men should not be allowed to write books on what mothers should do as mothers.